August 6th, 2010 
Dana Fisher It’s so hard for me to write when things seem to be crashing down. The last thing I want to do when fighting a lion is pick up a pencil when I need a sword. It just seems to be anti-climactic to write something about fighting the good fight, when all I want to do is wave a white flag and ask for a truce for a few days. Some times I just want a break, I just feel so mentally drained. It’s not physical at all, I feel like I could go play football all day or run 5 miles, but my mind is spinning so fast it tires out my entire body. It’s sort of like an overloaded washer. The clothes are in there spinning relentlessly but there’s to much in there and the pressure and weight of it all is pushing on the door, weakening the seal. When it finally gives, water and sopping wet clothes are going to be strewn all over the dirty floor and I’ll have to start all over again.
I heard the line of a new song on the radio which has been stuck in my head: “Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano”. I’m not even sure why it stuck with me, the rest of the song has nothing to do with anything I think about this lyric. I love the awe-inspiring beauty in the destructive forces on this earth: hurricanes, tornado’s, volcanoes, tsunami’s. I began to wonder what would really happen if a tornado really met a volcano. What would win out? Would the heat and explosive fire disrupt the wind forcing the tornado to disintegrate? Would the vortex of the tornado simply suck up the spewing lava rendering the volcano just a meek mountain? Or would the collision just force a peaceful calm? Would everything just stop, like a slow motion replay as such differing worlds collided?
In todays day in age I suppose I could just google it and find a scientific answer, but where would be the fun in that? Imagination is lost on this generation. Yet it is part of what is keeping me going. The thought that maybe the collision of two very different and volatile worlds could stabilize chaos intrigues me. God uses all kinds of things to grab peoples attention and maybe chaos is what I needed right now.
There was a discussion recently in my Bible Study group over the difference between trials and temptations. There isn’t one. The same situation is both a trial and a temptation, its the force behind it that’s different. What Satan is using to bring me to the point of rejection, Christ is using to bring me to the point of complete redemption. I’m reminded of the poem “footprints” yet again. All pissed off that Jesus wasn’t there beside him the man questions Him: “WHERE WERE YOU?! Those were all my tough times!” I feel his pain, the frustration of thinking you’re alone, that you can only trust yourself, that it’s time to do it on your own. Jesus responds, those are my footprints…when I was carrying you.
What a humbling moment. I’m left with this realization that when I “give up” and feel like I can’t go on the world is still moving and taking me with it. And so the question becomes, well how did I get to point B? And it’s at that moment I understand that I was being carried. Whether I wanted to be or not, I was. Whether I recognized that Jesus was doing it or whether I thought I was just plugging along all by myself(like the man in the poem), I was being carried. And that’s the awesomeness of the real Jesus. He loves each of us even if we aren’t loving Him back. He’s still walking beside us even if we ran off ahead of Him, and He’s still carrying us and looking out for us even when we think we’re the only ones looking out for our own well being.
Maybe two destructive forces only brings further chaos. Maybe it’s not going to get better for a long time for me. But I’d like to leave it to my imagination and picture my world in beautiful colors. I’d like to see my cup half full and let God fill it up, instead of worrying that I need to fill it up on my own. Removing that stress from my daily life makes living easier. He really can take on my burdens and work all things together for good. I just have to let Him.
Posted in 
Tags: 
